creation #4 : her swing

            She sat on the swing, the wind gently caressing her face.  Her long blonde hair was a mess, but she never realized.  She was lost in deep thought, as her eyes started to fill up in tears, vision blurred.  She couldn’t help but think back to that night; the night when her pretty perfect life turned upside down, the night she learned the horrible truth, the night she lost everything. 

She was tired.  Tired of how the people around her treated her; tired of trying to live up to expectations; tired of living in fear; tired of living a life for others and never for herself; tired of bottling up all the emotions and pain inside her.  Finally, as if a sign of defeat, tears started to trickle down her cheeks.  She just sat there, wind in her hair, tears streaming down her face.  She didn’t understand why, and how; that while all the other people her age were out there enjoying their lives at the peak, she was here, lost and wandering around helplessly in the deep valley of despair, not knowing where she was going. 

            Suddenly, she heard a voice calling her name.  She lifted up her face and looked around, expecting to see someone walking towards her, but her eyes found no one.  She cried even harder.  Who was she, to think that there might actually be someone who cared enough about her to come all the way out here just to make sure she’s okay?  She blamed herself for her foolishness, for actually hoping that someone might come for her.  Why else did she come all the way out here, away from the people and the hectic life in the city anyway?  She wanted to be alone, to be deserted, and just to be far away from all that was familiar to her.

 Now that she had started to cry, the tears just wouldn’t stop.   She could no longer hold back everything she had been holding in for her whole life.  She cried and cried; a devastating story behind every tear.  All she wanted to was just to cry her heart dry, cry out every single drop of blood her crushed heart contained, cry out every single wave of emotion that ever existed in her heart, cry out every single ray of hope; she wanted to cry her heart empty.  It hurt her, so much; but it felt so good, to finally be able to let all that out, after all those years.  She knew it was her only chance to let go of herself, and she didn’t even bother to stop.  She started to regret coming out here alone; she was craving for human closeness, a pat on her shoulder, a friendly embrace, someone to tell her that everything was alright, even if it was just a plain lie; but she desperately needed that.

The sun was setting.  Shadows grew longer and darker by the minute.  Her phone rang.  It was an alarm clock.  6.45, her phone read.  Darn it was late.  She willed herself to stop, willed those tears to dry.  She steadied herself, clearing up her thoughts once again.  How silly of her to have cried so much just now, she thought, mocking herself silently.  She took out a brush and combed her hair into a high ponytail; a tissue whipped out from her bag to wipe away any trace of a breakdown there was on her face.  She sat back on the swing, swaying there in the dark.  19^th February, a day spent alone on a swing, what a great day.  She smiled to herself, trying to forget about everything that happened earlier.  She put on her armour of smiles again, bottled all those emotions back.  Then she stood up and looked at the swing for one last time.  She wouldn’t be here anytime soon she guessed.  So she went over to the bushes and plucked a bunch of daffodils and put it on the swing.  Stay here for me, she whispered to the flowers, stay here until the next time I come back, please.  And with that, she left.

“But I know you’re just gonna go off with the wind and forget about me, you silly little flowers; just like everyone else in my life did to me.  Oh well, what did I expect from a bunch of flowers?”  She smirked, and pulled out her phone.  She called her dad and came up with an excuse for her disappearance that day, as she started to make her way home.  Everything else was hidden away deep inside her.  No one would ever know what happened that day, absolutely no one.

                            ❄         ❄         ❄         ❄         ❄

A short story written based on a novel I recently read, and it was obviously meant to be shared with all. :) Comments are very much appreciated, and if you would, click into this link (http://www.wattpad.com/22647700-her-swing#.Uhc6-tJyDi8) and give me a vote. Thanks! ;)


. with love from .
thememoryholder

creation #3 : breakaway

I see a window
Up there, quite high
Quite a long distance
Till I touch the sky

But why do I care?
Nope, not for fun
But if you knew
I'm sure you'd run

The pressure, the pressure
It's pushing me over
The troubles, the stress
All driving me insane

All those responsibilities
That I shouldn't bear
Are making them white
One by one, my hair

It's time to escape,
It's time to run
But looking up there
With that, and i'm stunned

I see a window
Up there, quite high
Quite a long distance
Till I touch the sky

So maybe I'll just sit
And wait till they say
That finally it's time
For me to breakaway



This is an old masterpiece I found while I was digging through my old notebooks.
Weary and tired, I sat down wrote down what I was going through.
This is what I love about writing, that it brings you back to your past, then once again reminds you of your present.  :)



. with love from .
thememoryholder

creation #2 : dark blue eyes

"ARE YOU OKAY?"

Dark blue eyes,
Looking straight into mine.
What happened to me,
He had no clue.

The feelings came to me,
Insecurities arising;
Lost control over all emotions,
As the urge to weep finally hit.

Vision blurred, teary view,
Eyes welled up in despair;
Then she walked in, called your name,
You walked to her and left me there.

I stole a glance,
Caught my breath,
Held back my tears,
And turned away.

Those eyes,
Knocked down walls of insincerity,
Triggered the rush of tears.

Dark blue eyes,
I shall never trust again.

. with love from .
thememoryholder

memory #13 : forever and always

there are always those few people who will be there whenever you need them;

may it be one or two, or if you're lucky, even more.

those people, shall be the ones who will change you, your life and eventually, your dreams.  :)

friends, just a little something special;

people who will be there; 

forever and always.  :)

. with love from .

thememoryholder

memory #12 : they will exist

But in a box beneath my bed is a letter that you never read from three summers back,
It's hard not to find it all a little bitter sweet,
And lookin' back on all of that it's nice to believe;

It's been you all along.


And these are the things I will never ever tell you, you will never ever know, you will never ever hear coming out from me.
Yet, they will exist; forever and always.

Still, it's time to finally let go.  :)



. with love from .
thememoryholder

memory #11 : 逃避一个我不想要的答案

三年。

这三年以来，一直都在逃避的事实；

这三年以来，一直都不敢问的问题；

这三年以来，一直都在等待的答案。

今天，我终于得到了。

三年以来，
虽然很想听到答案，
却不想知道答案；
虽然恨不得亲口问出答案，
却从来都不过问。

现在，我得到答案了，
可是，这时我想要的吗？

三年来，
从来不过问，
是因为我一直都在逃避，
逃避一个我不想要的答案。

好想再回到那些年的时光，回到教室座位前后，故意讨你温柔的骂。- 那些年，胡夏

. with love from .
thememoryholder

memory #10 : lovin' the way things are

Life is kinda slowing down,
Things are kinda calming down.
Troubles are kinda drowning out,
Mistakes are kinda wearing out.

Yes, 

There still are things that I worry about,
Things I loose sleep for at night,
Things I wish I could get back to.

But isn't this the way life is?
Always giving you a hurdle to cross;
Each one harder than the other.
But remember,
What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

So, yeah.
Life is starting to treat me kinder.

Lovin' the way things are.  ;D  ♥ 

.with love from .
thememoryholder

memory #9 : we both know what's going on, don't we?

That feeling,

When I look at you, and you're already looking at me.

I really miss what we had,
No idea what it's called, maybe a flirtationship.
But at least back then, we could talk to each other like the world would never end.

I just can't help thinking,
You obviously know something is going on,
It's just that none of us would take the initiative to talk things out.

Oh well, if that's the case, then sorry.
Cause you've taught me that initiative shouldn't be wasted on guys.

After all,
We both know what's going on, don't we?

天空怎么那么暗
爱情为何那么难；
谁能告诉我答案，
我的心好乱。 

 

. with love from .

thememoryholder

memory #8 : shattered piece trust

I hate people who misuse my trust,

Especially those I trusted the most.

Why do I always trust the wrong people?

It used to be her,
Then him,
Now you.

I thought you were different.
Oh well, you seemed different.
But then, you started to change,
And since then, things have never been the same.

I freaking hate changes.

Why can't things just stay the same?
Putting a knot to the ends of two strings in one week?
That's tough.

I feel like I'm just letting the people I love,
The people I care about,
Slowly slip through my fingers.

The people I would never ever wanna hurt,
They're hurt by my secrets;

The people I used to care for,

They're leaving me, one by one.

Believe me, I'm trying my best;
I'm trying everything in my power to save everything.
But sometimes, it's not by our choice.
If things are to break, it'll break.

Too many people have come and left,
Too many wounds imprinted by those I cared;

Too may words left misunderstood,

Too many secrets, waiting to be uncovered.

The trust I had in you,

Misused,
Shattered.

Now you've shattered it,
Leave, once and for all.

And please, never ever come back to me again.
Cause all it takes is just a smile from you,
To break down all the boundaries I built.

Leave,
And never look back.

I've found time, can heal almost anything.  - Taylor Swift, Fifteen.

Oh well, looks like she was wrong.

. with love from .

thememoryholder

memory #7 : the ultimate secret

A random fact:

All those typography pictures,
They always use the words 'you, he, she'
No names mentioned,
No particular descriptions given.

Why?

Cause it's a secret.

A deep, dark secret.

I was reading through our conversations,
Scrolling back to how we started talking.
It was just a simple wish of blessing,
That started everything.

He was different,
I could tell.
There was nothing we wouldn't talk about,
The talks were something I couldn't do without.

I have no idea how to describe what happened next,

Without making it seem too obvious.

But yeah, something BIG happened,
And things changed.

Our conversations got rarer and rarer,
The silly things we used to talk about;
No idea where they went.
Things got ugly, when I found out
That is was her, that ended it all.

Now there's a dark secret,
Deep down in my heart.
Nobody I could share it with,
It's killing me inside out.

He tried to start a conversation,
Which I ignored with a heart of burning passion.

Cause if I wanted things to change back,

Then sorry, but I'll have to back off.

The burning passion,
Those emotional thoughts;

I had to hide,

I had to deny.

But the more I try,
The more the feeling grows.

I'm not so sure if what I did was right.
All I know is that if I didn't back off then,
Then I'll fall under a deep and dark spell.

And things,
Will never go back to the way they were again.

Now that,
Is the ultimate secret.

The more you hide your feeling, the more they show; The more you deny your feelings, the more they grow.  - hplyrikz.com  tumblr

. with love from .

thememoryholder

memory #6 : here it ends

Looking at your name,
Saying it again;

The awkward feeling arises,

And takes over my conscience.

The talks we used to have,

All gone, like a head shaved;

Those wonderful moments,

All gone in an instant.

I remember all your secrets;
And just how you laughed.

But what about my secrets?
Do you remember, at all?

I guess it's forgotten,
All blown away;
By the storm that settled,
On the day we went our ways.

I've accepted the truth,

That you've gone far away;

Nothing I could do would make you stay,

You still wanted to leave anyway.

So here I sit,
With my heart in the pit,

Knowing this is it,

Here it ends.

. with love from .

thememoryholder

memory #5 : is this all?

Waking up in the morning, and feeling tired again.



Tired,
Tired of being sad, tired of being stressed, tired of being depressed;

Tired,
Tired of caring too much, tired of getting ignored, tired of being the odd one out;

Tired,
Tired of responsibilities, tired of troubles, tired of changes;

Tired,
Tired of hiding everything, tired of wiping away the tears, tired of pretending everything's fine;



Storing everything in,
Leaving only the smiles, the jokes, the laughs on the outside;
Stocking away all the tears, the anger, the jealousy on the inside.



Everything's changed,
And so have I.
I'll never be the person I used to be again;
Never dream like I used to,
Never think like I once did;
Never, ever again.

And that's the thing about changes that scares me most.
Changes come unexpectedly, you never know when it'll happen,
And once it does, it's gonna be so obvious, you'll know instantly.

But once you've changed,
You'll never change back,
Again.

Sometimes I wonder,
Is this all there is to life?

Tired,
Tired of life,
And finally, tired of being tired.

Life keeps getting in the way - Gotta go my own way, Vanessa Hudgens

. with love from .
thememoryholder

memory #4 : true love... ?

Some people try their whole lives to be the right person for the one they love;
But they end up with nothing,
Just a sad, broken heart,
And the inability to ever love the same way again.

She will never love the same way she did,
Never ever again, she said.
Never will she have the same feelings for another guy,
Or the time to spend.

Guys, wake up.
Girls don't stand around;
And spend years around you;
Being there for you every single time;
And not going for anyone else;
Just for fun.

If one does,
Then that means she's hiding something else.
And you should know what she's hiding.

True love is unconditional,
Unlimited,
Unchangeable,
And unbreakable.

真爱就像是鬼魂；每个人都知道它，都在说它。但有几个真的遇见了？
遇见了，你会晓得吗？
True love is just like ghouls. Everyone knows about it, everyone talks about it. But how many have really met  one?

Unless you've been through all that, you'll never know.

. with love from .
thememoryholder

creation #1 : better as best friends

Hanging out,
Talking loud,
We've been spending time together;
Screaming out,
Singing loud,
We've been laughing through all that together.

But do you ever,
Ever wonder,
What's this we're having now?

Are we simple friends?
Or singe friends,
Falling for each other?

Do you think so?
I don't know,
But I can tell you this;
That it's so clear,
You're the one, my dear;
The one I'm falling for.

But no way,
I can't tell you that;
Cause my friend,
We're not ready yet.

Not ready to change,
Or face it anyway;
So let's just stay this way,
Okay?

No way,
Can't let you know that yet;
It's killing me,
To hide it from you, yeah.

Not ready for this,
Can't deal with it, my friend;
So let's just stay this way,
Okay?

Don't wanna rush this,
Don't wanna kill it,
Things are just perfect, just awesome now;
Don't wanna change this,
Don't wanna ruin it all...

'Cause we're better as best friends.


PS  First try at lyrics. So, yeah...  Comments please.  :)

. with love from .
thememoryholder

memory #3 : it's easier this way

There's this fact I found out about people:

When people ask:

"Are you okay? Is anything wrong?"

Most of the time,
They don't mean it.

They won't spend the time,

To get to know what's going on.
They won't take the time,

To listen to you,

To understand,

And to make you feel better.

They ask, just to sound polite.

What happened to the humanly society?

I know,

That it's easier for you to put on a smile, 

Tell everyone who cares to ask that nothing's wrong;

Everything's fine.

Cause it's not really that easy,

To tear off the smile on your face,

Tell people it's not okay;

Tell them everything is wrong;

Out of control,

And make them understand,

Make them care.

Those who care are not available,
Those who don't care don't matter.

this is life.
never fair,
never simple,
never easy.

So just put on that stupid smile of yours and face the world,
Cause it's easier this way.

And we know it's never simple, never easy.  - Breathe, Taylor Swift

. with love from .
thememoryholder 

memory #2 : what if...

I can't tell you.
'Cause if I told you, you would go berserk;
You would flee from me;
You would leave me.
We can never be the same again;
Never be the way we used to be.

If I told you,
You would change;
She would also change;
WE would all change.

I just wonder,
I just need to know.
Is there anything else between us?
Anything I should know?

But no, I can't.
I can't share it with you, or with her.
'Cause if either of you knew, all would be ruined.
EVERYTHING,
Every single thing, will be ruined.

But, what if...
What if I couldn't stand all this secrecy?
What if I can't stand you being in the dark, not knowing anything?
What if one day,
I told you?

Would you stare at me with big big eyes?
Or would you laugh and shrug it off,
And say goodbye to our friendship?


. with love from .
thememoryholder

memory #1 : the confusion

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I love you,
Wishing you do too.

One mental note to everyone.
Never, never ever tease a boy.

Cause he might just end up falling for you;

Or the other way round.
You may just end up falling for him.

And never.

Never, never ever fall for a friend.
Bad friends, good friends, best friends or even MEGA best friends.

Cause you know it's already over before it even began.

Also, never.

Never, never ever let things get complicated.

And when it comes to choose between a relationship and a friendship,

You know what to choose,

Make a wise choice.

Finally, never.

Never , never ever let him know.
Cause being your friend, he should know enough.
Even if he doesn't, he doesn't need more information.

Cause it's gonna kill your perfectly awesome friendship,

That pure, sweet friendship,

Into something terrible.  

. with love from .

thememoryholder

the starting point

hello to all.  :)

this is my new blog. i used to run It's My Life ❤ . but due to certain reasons, i decided to close it down. read the last post to find out what happened.

well, not having a media to write and share things with is kinda hard. i couldn't stand not having anything special to do, so i decided to start up another blog. so here you have this, the memory lane, all there is to remember.


be ready to be entertained by me. sincere and heart-breaking posts, known as memories on this blog, will fill this memory lane, fill this life, and also fill you memories.

get ready, for the ultimate entertainment.  :)


. with love from .
thememoryholder